Ball or Nuthin' » Chad Ochocinco

Ochocinco and Owens – Dynamic Duo?

T Lamont — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 18:39:24 +0000

Well, it’s official. Terrell Owens is going to Cincy, and, if nothing else, it will provide the NFL with one of the most eccentric receiving duos in history.

And one of the most decorated duos, as well. Owens and current Bengals’ pass catcher Chad Ochocinco have combined for 12 Pro Bowl and 8 All-Pro selections.

There’s no denying that the two are great football players, but the reality is that they’ll be remembered for much more than that. Owens and Ochocinco have each allowed their personalities to shine through, making them unforgettable figures in the world of sports. Each is a star of his own reality television series, both airing on VH1.

But if the history of the two guys remains true, one thing is for certain: there will be no lack of excitement in Cincinnati this year. And it would leave us all wondering if there will be enough spotlight for both of the media-hungry receivers.

Let’s take a playful look at the characteristics that make these guys who they are – - and who would fare better in each:

==================================================================

Best Haircut

With Ocho and T.O. both rocking chrome domes, this is a close battle. But from time to time, small pricklies are visible on T.O.’s head – and if you look closely, there’s a pattern developing. Ocho’s bald look is relatively smooth and we’ve seen him pull out some of the wildest cuts on the football field – and on his head.

Winner: Ochocinco, by a hair

Best Heartbreaker

Palmer should be able to keep defenses honest with veteran receivers on both sides of the field.

Right now, these players are at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to the ladies. Owens recently exhibited a soft side on his show, making it obvious that his proclaimed feelings for his girlfriend are, in fact, real. He was pulling out stunts that were almost stalker-esque – like having boxes sent to his girl’s house just so that he would have a reason to go over.

While T.O. isn’t acting like the player that we all assume athletes to be, Ochocinco is certainly riding the high of his new reality show, “The Ultimate Catch.” On it, he’ll sort through 85 girls to get down to that ‘special’ one.

Winner: Ochocinco. He’s playing the role of heartbreaker, while Owens is playing the role of the heartbroken.

Best Sidekicks

On the T.O. Show, the Alabama native is rolling with his publicists, Monique Jackson and Kita Williams. Now, as flashy and flamboyant as Owens has been on the gridiron, he is equally as bland off the gridiron. That’s where Mo and Kita come in. The two divas basically make the show, sparking classic confrontational moments that would otherwise turn the T.O. Show into a “N.O. Show.”

Ochocinco’s buddy, Bernard Berrian is nicknamed “B Twice.” They might as well call him “B Thrice” – Bland Bernard Berrian. Boring Bernard Berrian. Or whatever “B” word you can think of that describes someone who doesn’t add anything to the show.

Winner: T.O. The most interesting episode of ”The Ultimate Catch” would probably be five times weaker than any episode of ”The T.O. Show” as long as Mo and Kita are around.

Best Publicity Stunts

As Owens has moved on in his career, he has put a lot of his attention-craving antics aside. Sure, in many ways he was the originator of selfish, over-the-top behavior – as evidenced by the Sharpie incident, the pom-pom dance and the Cowboys logo standoff. While this type of behavior drew the ire of fans, it also meant that they were paying attention to his antics.

One could say that the torch was unintentionally passed to Ochocinco. Chad has done quite a bit to stay on SportsCenter, but he has not limited his aspirations to the playing field. Ocho has one-upped T.O. by using technology to his advantage. The Oregon State product has used Twitter to connect with his fans (and his haters), constantly delivering cutting edge catch phrases just to give people a reason to follow him. Guess what? It worked. He danced with the stars, and he figured that we would take a peek to see if he was going to act a fool. Worked again. He caught our attention with his silly name change saga, and is now threatening to change it once more.

Winner: Ochocinco. The guy will go to any length to ensure that he remains one of the most searched NFL players out there.

Best Use of Television

Terrell Owens used his show to peek into his life, and witness parts of it that were not clear to us. The concept of the show was fairly original, citing Mo and Kita as his “guardian angels to block and guide him to the endzone.” The girls are in all of his business, and it doesn’t always work out well…which, by the way, makes for some good television. T.O. allows viewers to know that he is human, that he has feelings, and that he does genuinely care about everything that we think he doesn’t.

In Ochocinco’s premier television season, his program is run-of-the-mill for what you would expect on VH1. Ocho is indeed using the show to stay in the spotlight, but he’s not using it efficiently. As episodes come and go, he’s looking more and more like other past VH1 reality stars Ray J and – gasp – Flavor Flav.

Winner: T.O. I understand that this is Ocho’s first show, but he has to move past the status quo and make his television show as wild and unpredictable as he is.

==================================================================

But regardless of the outcome of these categories, there will be a distinct set of winners from the establishment of this dynamic duo: NFL fans.

Just imagine a whole season of antics and soundbites that will eminate from the Bengals’ locker room.

NFL season, here we come!!

Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch?

T Lamont — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 03:02:25 +0000

Anyone who knows Chad Ochocinco knows that he couldn’t stay on the sidelines too long.

Tonight, the star Cincinnati Bengals receiver joined the ranks of celebrities with their own reality shows.

The Ultimate Catch premiered on VH1, and the premise of this show is that the outspoken Ochocinco begins with 100 girls that he must trim down to find the one for him. The concept is certainly not original, but it is a step above Flavor of Love. But just like any other reality show, this one had its share of un-smooth moves…

The first episode commences with Chad Ochocinco – accompanied by his “boy” Bernard “B-Twice” Berrian (“B Twice”, by the way, has to be the most original nickname ever. Bernard Berrian. ”B-Twice”. Please guys, don’t pick my nickname.). Together, their job is to cut the girls who aren’t fit for #85 – and that was exactly was Ocho did. Incoincidentally, the first girl that Chad personally cuts is one of the ‘chunkier’ ones in the group.

What could we expect? Ochocinco was never known not to act on his true feelings.

After narrowing the field down to 17, it was on to Ocho’s pad for a night of drinking and dancing. And as we were just getting comfortable with Ocho and B-Twice, we’re treated to a guest appearance from fellow NFL receiver – and star of his own VH1 television series - Terrell Owens.

Ocho and his two pals are to talk to the girls and get to know them individually. Leave it to T.O. to really get down to business on this front. Check out his conversation with one of the contenders:

T.O.: “Have you ever dated a black guy before?”

Girl: “No, but I heard once you go black you never go back.”

Ocho has his eye on 16 women.

T.O.: “Are you ready for that?”

Girl: “Do I look ready?” “Stop looking at me so seriously.”

T.O.: “Do you think your parents would be open to that?”

Girl: “My parents are black. I’m adopted.”

T.O.: “Seriously?”

Girl: “No.”

T.O.: “You’re funny. I like you for myself.”

I’m guessing that T.O. went home with about 10 ‘possibles’ at the end of the night. Hasn’t Ochocinco seen the T.O Show? After all, it did come on right after his…

Also, leave it to Chad to implement a bracket style ranking for the 16 women remaining at the end of the first show. I’m not sure how that bracket is going to come into play. Are the #1 and #16 seeds going to square off against each other for the rights to Chad?

Ochocinco tells us to “use the bracket pool in your office. Maybe you can make some money off it.”

C’mon Ocho. Like that many people are watching…child please!

Ochocinco Will Dance With the Stars

T Lamont — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 04:21:10 +0000

Chad Ochocinco is getting ready to dance…but it won’t be in an endzone near you.

The charismatic Cincinnati Bengal wide receiver is one of the contestants on Season 10 of Dancing With The Stars. The show kicks off on March 22, and will include Pamela Anderson, Buzz Aldrin, Erin Andrews, Shannen Doherty, and “The Bachelor” Jake Pavelka among others.

While we know that Ocho will brings his own personality and flair onto the floor, and we’d like to see some of that convert into success in the competition. Ochocinco certainly has shown some of the best moves of anyone on the gridiron, so I would at least expect him to do better than someone who never demonstrated any creativity in that department. Someone like, say, Emmitt Smith? Oh, that’s right he won. Jerry Rice? He was a runner-up. Shoot, even Jason Taylor and Warren Sapp were runner-ups.

All I can say is that if he can’t do as good as any of these other fellow NFL players, that DMNDS!!

Unlike

NFL = “No Fun League”

T Lamont — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:59:38 +0000

What happens when a league begins to take itself to seriously?

They start handing out excessive fines for everything.

Case and point – fining Chad Ochocinco $20,000 for his joking attempt at bribing an official in Sunday’s game between the Cincinnati Bengals and the Baltimore Ravens.

During a critcal sequence in the third quarter, Benagls’ quarterback completed a 15-yard pass to Ochocinco. The Ravens challenged the play, believing that the receiver was out-of-bounds. During the replay, Ochocinco held a $1 bill at his side – jokingly bribing the an official. The official saw this, and gave a motion as if he was waving it off.

"Child Please" - One of Ocho's most quoted Twitter comments.

The league said he violated a rule which prohibits insulting gestures on the field. They also say that he was not in line with a rule prohibiting extraneous objects on the playing field which are not part of the football uniforms. The league also stands firmly behind the fact that Ochocinco used the word “bribe” in his postgame interview.

I guess the sports world is a little uptight with upholding the integrity of the game. Both the NBA (Tim Donaghy) and major league baseball (performance enhancing drugs) are in the midst of dealing with issues that have threatened the integrity of those respective leagues.

But everyone knows Ochocinco. And even if they don’t know him, they know that an official is not going to be bribed for a dollar.

The NFL has to take some sort of stand on this…that much I can understand. But $20,000?

In my opinion, Chad was obviously trying to bribe the wrong people.

Unlike

Bengals Exceeding Their Wildest Expectations

T Lamont — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:35:15 +0000

“I think, for the first time this year, we played a complete football game. We came out and played football.”

“That was amazing. Blowouts like this don’t happen against good teams. That’s a good, physical team offensively and defensively; they’re going to win games and make a push for the playoffs.”

If at the beginning of the season, we were all asked who would be the source of these quotes – we would not have even come close to guessing correctly.

The soundbites came from Cincinnati Bengals’ head coach Marvin Lewis and quarterback Carson Palmer following their lopsided victory of the Chicago Bears, 45-10.

Cedric Benson was extremely motivated for Sunday's game against Chicago.

Palmer had a magnificent day. He went 20-24 for 233 yards and threw five touchdowns. Superstar wide receiver Chad Ochocinco was the target for half of those completions, as the Oregon State product hauled in 10 receptions for 118 yards and two touchdowns. To round out their potent offensive display, running back Cedric Benson – formerly of the Chicago Bears – rushed for 189 yards on 37 carries.

In other words, the Bengals did whatever they wanted to do whenever they wanted to do it on Sunday. Cincinnati accumulated 30 first downs, didn’t give up a sack, and didn’t commit any turnovers on its way to the blow out win.

Chicago, on the other hand, coughed up the ball on four occasions. Jay Cutler threw three interceptions, and the Bears also lost a fumble. Bengals’ defensive back Leon Hall victimized Cutler twice on Sunday.

The Bengals improved to 5-2, and they are in first place by virtue of their victory against the Pittsburgh Steelers earlier in the season. Cincinnati as the look of a team that is totally confident in its abilities. The team is riding the wave of two important developments:

1. Carson Palmer has returned. But not only has he returned, but he has returned healthy and rested. He has provided the offense with the powerful arm that it lacked in his absence.

2. A refocused, re-dedicated Ochocinco. He said that he was going to concentrate on playing football and having fun. Even Skip Bayless couldn’t take him out of his game.

I have a feeling that things have become a lot easier in town for Marvin Lewis. Having your two most respected players on one accord makes everything go smoother. The big thing for the Bengals is how they will react to adversity.

We’ll all hold our collective breaths and think positive thoughts. Maybe – just maybe they won’t screw things up this time around.

Unlike