Ball or Nuthin' » Bengals

Ochocinco and Owens – Dynamic Duo?

T Lamont — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 18:39:24 +0000

Well, it’s official. Terrell Owens is going to Cincy, and, if nothing else, it will provide the NFL with one of the most eccentric receiving duos in history.

And one of the most decorated duos, as well. Owens and current Bengals’ pass catcher Chad Ochocinco have combined for 12 Pro Bowl and 8 All-Pro selections.

There’s no denying that the two are great football players, but the reality is that they’ll be remembered for much more than that. Owens and Ochocinco have each allowed their personalities to shine through, making them unforgettable figures in the world of sports. Each is a star of his own reality television series, both airing on VH1.

But if the history of the two guys remains true, one thing is for certain: there will be no lack of excitement in Cincinnati this year. And it would leave us all wondering if there will be enough spotlight for both of the media-hungry receivers.

Let’s take a playful look at the characteristics that make these guys who they are – - and who would fare better in each:

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Best Haircut

With Ocho and T.O. both rocking chrome domes, this is a close battle. But from time to time, small pricklies are visible on T.O.’s head – and if you look closely, there’s a pattern developing. Ocho’s bald look is relatively smooth and we’ve seen him pull out some of the wildest cuts on the football field – and on his head.

Winner: Ochocinco, by a hair

Best Heartbreaker

Palmer should be able to keep defenses honest with veteran receivers on both sides of the field.

Right now, these players are at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to the ladies. Owens recently exhibited a soft side on his show, making it obvious that his proclaimed feelings for his girlfriend are, in fact, real. He was pulling out stunts that were almost stalker-esque – like having boxes sent to his girl’s house just so that he would have a reason to go over.

While T.O. isn’t acting like the player that we all assume athletes to be, Ochocinco is certainly riding the high of his new reality show, “The Ultimate Catch.” On it, he’ll sort through 85 girls to get down to that ‘special’ one.

Winner: Ochocinco. He’s playing the role of heartbreaker, while Owens is playing the role of the heartbroken.

Best Sidekicks

On the T.O. Show, the Alabama native is rolling with his publicists, Monique Jackson and Kita Williams. Now, as flashy and flamboyant as Owens has been on the gridiron, he is equally as bland off the gridiron. That’s where Mo and Kita come in. The two divas basically make the show, sparking classic confrontational moments that would otherwise turn the T.O. Show into a “N.O. Show.”

Ochocinco’s buddy, Bernard Berrian is nicknamed “B Twice.” They might as well call him “B Thrice” – Bland Bernard Berrian. Boring Bernard Berrian. Or whatever “B” word you can think of that describes someone who doesn’t add anything to the show.

Winner: T.O. The most interesting episode of ”The Ultimate Catch” would probably be five times weaker than any episode of ”The T.O. Show” as long as Mo and Kita are around.

Best Publicity Stunts

As Owens has moved on in his career, he has put a lot of his attention-craving antics aside. Sure, in many ways he was the originator of selfish, over-the-top behavior – as evidenced by the Sharpie incident, the pom-pom dance and the Cowboys logo standoff. While this type of behavior drew the ire of fans, it also meant that they were paying attention to his antics.

One could say that the torch was unintentionally passed to Ochocinco. Chad has done quite a bit to stay on SportsCenter, but he has not limited his aspirations to the playing field. Ocho has one-upped T.O. by using technology to his advantage. The Oregon State product has used Twitter to connect with his fans (and his haters), constantly delivering cutting edge catch phrases just to give people a reason to follow him. Guess what? It worked. He danced with the stars, and he figured that we would take a peek to see if he was going to act a fool. Worked again. He caught our attention with his silly name change saga, and is now threatening to change it once more.

Winner: Ochocinco. The guy will go to any length to ensure that he remains one of the most searched NFL players out there.

Best Use of Television

Terrell Owens used his show to peek into his life, and witness parts of it that were not clear to us. The concept of the show was fairly original, citing Mo and Kita as his “guardian angels to block and guide him to the endzone.” The girls are in all of his business, and it doesn’t always work out well…which, by the way, makes for some good television. T.O. allows viewers to know that he is human, that he has feelings, and that he does genuinely care about everything that we think he doesn’t.

In Ochocinco’s premier television season, his program is run-of-the-mill for what you would expect on VH1. Ocho is indeed using the show to stay in the spotlight, but he’s not using it efficiently. As episodes come and go, he’s looking more and more like other past VH1 reality stars Ray J and – gasp – Flavor Flav.

Winner: T.O. I understand that this is Ocho’s first show, but he has to move past the status quo and make his television show as wild and unpredictable as he is.

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But regardless of the outcome of these categories, there will be a distinct set of winners from the establishment of this dynamic duo: NFL fans.

Just imagine a whole season of antics and soundbites that will eminate from the Bengals’ locker room.

NFL season, here we come!!

Jets, Cowboys Do the Improbable

T Lamont — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 02:40:05 +0000

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Just two weekends ago, both the New York Jets and the Dallas Cowboys were on the brink of being eliminated from the playoffs.

But after each playing a couple of games of dominating football, they found themselves in the wild card game – each playing against the same team that beat last weekend.

Last week, the Jets beat the Cincinnati Bengals to cement their trip to the postseason. Likewise, the Cowboys shutout the Philadelphia Eagles in rout to this week’s repeat showdown with their division rivals.

So what happened yesterday?

Both the Jets and the Cowboys took care of business on Saturday to advance to the divisional round of the playoffs.

In Texas Stadium, the Cowboys defeated the Eagles, 34-14. Dallas exploded for 27 points in the 2nd quarter – an outburst which compromised Philadelphia’s chances for success against a tough Cowboys’ defense. And while the Philadelphia offense wasn’t totally grounded, it couldn’t come through when it needed to. The Eagles converted only 18% (2 of 11) of their third downs (and they were 0 for 2 on fourth downs).

All year, Philly has been noted for its extremely potent and explosive offense, but it was Dallas that scored 3 touchdowns and 2 field goals in 12 minutes. After putting those points on the board, the Cowboys knew they had the upper hand as the Eagles had only scored 7 points on them in the last 5 quarters up to that point.

Felix Jones rushed for 148 yards on only 16 carries.

Earlier in the day, the Jets went into Cincinnati to handle the Bengals, 24-14. What did rookie quarterback Mark Sanchez think of the victory?

”It’s pretty special. It’s got nothing to do with me.”

While it’s refreshing to see your rookie quarterback ry to deflect the success on his whole team, he was indeed an integral part of this key playoff win.

New York Jets’ head coach Rex Ryan:

”He had the eye of the tiger today and he was ready to get out there and throw it around. I see him getting better and better each day on the practice field. What a job he’s done. I think he’s tired of hearing he’s the weak link on this football team.”

Sanchez was an efficient 12-15 for 182 yards and a touchdown. Fellow rookie Shonn Greene rushed for 135 yards to provide a balanced offensive attack for New York. Three Jets’ touchdowns in the second and third quarters sealed the Bengals’ fate.

Coach Ryan:

”This was a great team effort. We’re a good football team. If people don’t believe that, they soon will.”

Steelers Can’t Tame the Bengals

T Lamont — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 03:32:36 +0000

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The Cincinnati Bengals have won 7 of their 9 games this season. I wonder how many of us thought that they won have 4 wins against AFC North rivals Baltimore and Pittsburgh.

That became a reality when the Bengals beat the Steelers 18-12 on Sunday at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh.

In a game of dominating defense and special teams play, Cincinnati stood tall. Both teams scored 4 field goals each. The difference was a 96-yard kickoff return touchdown by the Bengals’ Bernard Scott.

The game was extremely competitive in the areas of net yards (Cin: 218; Pitt: 226), first downs (Cin: 14; Pitt: 16) and time of possession (Cin: 29:08; Pitt: 30:52). But in past years, this is precisely the type of game that the Steelers would find a way to win. Not today.

Steelers’ QB Ben Roethlisberger:

”There was just something missing all day, I don’t know what it was. Something was weird about the day, I don’t know if it was the (mid-60s) weather in November. We just didn’t make the plays we normally make.”

Palmer didn't turn the ball over against the Steelers.

Come on Ben. You could have at least given some credit to the Bengals. Cincy’s beaten their foes for the second time this season, and their seven wins indicate that they are not the same team that went 4-11-1 last season.

Bengals’ WR Chad Ochocinco:

”This is a breath of fresh air to be at this point of the season and to be playing for a reason.”

With the Raiders, Browns, Lions and Chiefs remaining on their schedule, the Bengals look like they are in good position to make only their second playoff appearance since 1990. The Steelers still have two critical showdowns against Baltimore which will ultimately determine their standing in the AFC North.

”In the past, we would lose games like this,” Bengals’ center Kyle Cook said.

As far as Cincinnati is concerned, there’s nothing more refreshing than a break from the past.

Bengals Exceeding Their Wildest Expectations

T Lamont — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:35:15 +0000

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“I think, for the first time this year, we played a complete football game. We came out and played football.”

“That was amazing. Blowouts like this don’t happen against good teams. That’s a good, physical team offensively and defensively; they’re going to win games and make a push for the playoffs.”

If at the beginning of the season, we were all asked who would be the source of these quotes – we would not have even come close to guessing correctly.

The soundbites came from Cincinnati Bengals’ head coach Marvin Lewis and quarterback Carson Palmer following their lopsided victory of the Chicago Bears, 45-10.

Cedric Benson was extremely motivated for Sunday's game against Chicago.

Palmer had a magnificent day. He went 20-24 for 233 yards and threw five touchdowns. Superstar wide receiver Chad Ochocinco was the target for half of those completions, as the Oregon State product hauled in 10 receptions for 118 yards and two touchdowns. To round out their potent offensive display, running back Cedric Benson – formerly of the Chicago Bears – rushed for 189 yards on 37 carries.

In other words, the Bengals did whatever they wanted to do whenever they wanted to do it on Sunday. Cincinnati accumulated 30 first downs, didn’t give up a sack, and didn’t commit any turnovers on its way to the blow out win.

Chicago, on the other hand, coughed up the ball on four occasions. Jay Cutler threw three interceptions, and the Bears also lost a fumble. Bengals’ defensive back Leon Hall victimized Cutler twice on Sunday.

The Bengals improved to 5-2, and they are in first place by virtue of their victory against the Pittsburgh Steelers earlier in the season. Cincinnati as the look of a team that is totally confident in its abilities. The team is riding the wave of two important developments:

1. Carson Palmer has returned. But not only has he returned, but he has returned healthy and rested. He has provided the offense with the powerful arm that it lacked in his absence.

2. A refocused, re-dedicated Ochocinco. He said that he was going to concentrate on playing football and having fun. Even Skip Bayless couldn’t take him out of his game.

I have a feeling that things have become a lot easier in town for Marvin Lewis. Having your two most respected players on one accord makes everything go smoother. The big thing for the Bengals is how they will react to adversity.

We’ll all hold our collective breaths and think positive thoughts. Maybe – just maybe they won’t screw things up this time around.

Palmer’s Wife Says “No” to Ocho

T Lamont — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 02:32:02 +0000

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After giving birth to twins on January 20, Shaelyn Palmer has her hands tied. The life of a new mother is filled with middle-of-the-night feedings, frequent diaper changing, and constant crying. Now, multiply that by two. Apparently, Ochocinco would like her to multiply that by three.

Ochocinco's smile could easily light up the Palmer twins' nursery.

Carson’s wife received a text message from a friend saying that Ochocinco planned to stay with the Palmers during the days prior to training camp. Like a smart husband, Carson has indicated that this will not happen. “I just told him that unless he’s picking up my mortgage for the month of July and August, he can’t stay. He’s not living for free. I don’t need another kid around the house.”

But hey, I’m going to go against popular opinion on this one. Here are the top reasons why the Palmers should let Ocho stay:

- As proven on the football field, Ocho has great hands. If he has to babysit in a pinch, there should be no worries about him fumbling the babies.

- I may be going out on a limb here, but I have a feeling that Ochocinco would be the most thuggish-looking guy in the Palmer’s negihborhood. If that’s the case, they won’t have to worry about being robbed.

- If you put Ochocinco on the floor in the nursery, his gold fronts can be used as a nightlight to keep the babies from getting scared.

- When formula gets low, he can run to the grocery store faster than most people can drive.

- Given Ocho’s history of endzone celebrations, I’m confident that the twins would turn out to be better dancers than they would living in an “Ocho-less” environment.

- If the Palmers frivolously spend their income, Ochocinco can replenish the kids’ college fund by selling his teeth.

So, you see…the Palmers should stop being selfish and look at all the good Ocho could do for the kids. After all, it’s all about the kids, man.