Palmer’s Wife Says “No” to Ocho

After giving birth to twins on January 20, Shaelyn Palmer has her hands tied.  The life of a new mother is filled with middle-of-the-night feedings, frequent diaper changing, and constant crying.  Now, multiply that by two.  Apparently, Ochocinco would like her to multiply that by three.

Ochocinco's smile could easily light up the Palmer twins' nursery.

 Carson’s wife received a text message from a friend saying that Ochocinco planned to stay with the Palmers during the days prior to training camp.  Like a smart husband, Carson has indicated that this will not happen.  “I just told him that unless he’s picking up my mortgage for the month of July and August, he can’t stay. He’s not living for free. I don’t need another kid around the house.”

But hey, I’m going to go against popular opinion on this one.  Here are the top reasons why the Palmers should let Ocho stay:

- As proven on the football field, Ocho has great hands.  If he has to babysit in a pinch, there should be no worries about him fumbling the babies.

- I may be going out on a limb here, but I have a feeling that Ochocinco would be the most thuggish-looking guy in the Palmer’s negihborhood.  If that’s the case, they won’t have to worry about being robbed.

- If you put Ochocinco on the floor in the nursery, his gold fronts can be used as a nightlight to keep the babies from getting scared.

- When formula gets low, he can run to the grocery store faster than most people can drive.

- Given Ocho’s history of endzone celebrations, I’m confident that the twins would turn out to be better dancers than they would living in an “Ocho-less” environment.

- If the Palmers frivolously spend their income, Ochocinco can replenish the kids’ college fund by selling his teeth.

So, you see…the Palmers should stop being selfish and look at all the good Ocho could do for the kids.  After all, it’s all about the kids, man.

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