It’s pretty bad when you’re an extremely talented athlete – unquestionably one of the best in your position in the NFL – and you have to resort to name-calling to give yourself some press.  But I’m not talking about the player formerly known as Chad Johnson denouncing someone else (although he’s no stranger to doing that)…I’m talking about this ridiculous name-changing fiasco.

Just like me, some of you NFL have probably followed this meaningless story.  And for the purposes of limiting my keystrokes, the player formerly known as Chad Johnson will be referred to as TPFKACJ (acronym for “the player formerly known as Chad Johnson”).

"What's my name fool?!"

 So, apparently, TPFKACJ applied for a name change, but failed to pay attention to detail and submitted “Ochocinco” instead of “Ocho Cinco.”  What difference does that make you might ask?  Not much from the perspective of proper Spanish grammar (eighty-five is actually ‘ochenta y cinco’). 

Last year, the NFL told TPFKACJ that he couldn’t get that name printed on the back of his jersey because the NFL had already produced “Chad Johnson” merchandise.  They only way they would accommodate him would be if he paid for all of the printed “Chad Johnson” merchandise.  TPFKACJ declined to do that, so “Johnson” remained on the back on his jersey in 2008.

However, for the upcoming 2009 campaign, the NFL has recognized this publicity stunt-gone-stale- so TPFKACJ will now be known as “Chad Ochocinco.”  But he was under the understanding that his name would be “Chad Ocho Cinco.”

So, now you know.  And you can rest easily knowing that Ball or Nuthin’ will report on the things that you care about, as well as the things that you don’t.