Note to fans everywhere:

If you get tickets to a ball game, please control your alcohol intake.  The flashlight cops (as Martin Lawrence would have said) have been given stun guns.  And they are pulling the trigger as if they are getting bonuses based on their takedowns.

We’ve all seen the guy trying to impersonate the Phillies mascot get dropped like a sack of potatoes. 

You’d figure that golfing events attract a more civil crowd of spectators…but we’ve even seen the taser used at this year’s Players Championship.

But just when you thought there was a limitation to the locales in which its use would be required, the stun gun has made its way to the basketball arena.  In Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals, the Orlando Police used a taser on Willie Buie.

Who in the world as Willie Buie?

Marquis Daniels’ step-father.

And who in the world is Marquis Daniels?

He sits comfortably on the Boston Celtics bench.  He’s played in 51 games this season, averaging 5.6 points per game.  Daniels hasn’t made an appearance in the first two games of the Eastern Conference Finals.  Unless Boston loses its entire starting five, don’t expect him to make any appearances.

I wonder if Buie was upset about that.  Maybe he was thinking that they needed to play his stepson.  Or maybe he heard someone speaking on how many donuts Daniels needs to bring to the locker room tomorrow – and that it would be the extent to which Daniels would be able to help the Celtics win this series.

But, seriously, I’d better stop cracking on Daniels.  After all, Buie did do 11 years in the joint on a second-degree murder charge.  There’s no telling what could happen to me if he stumbles upon this post.

Maybe I need to keep a taser in my residence…just in case.

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