Now that his NBA career is coming to an end (some Cavs fans would say that it has already ended), Shaquille Rashaun O’Neal is in a fight to keep himself relevant.

Throughout the years, O’Neal has adorned himself with a multitude of monikers, including (but not limited to):

• Shaq Fu
• The Big Aristotle
• The Diesel
• Superman
• The Big Cactus
• The Big Shaqtus
• The Big Galactus
• The Big Daddy

Each name represented either a new team, a new stage in his life, or simply what he felt about himself at the time.  Well, now the attention-craving big man is allowing his fans to be the first to discover his self-appointed names by purchasing unlimited access to him via the “Shaq App.”  Or, as King Kong put it on his Twitter account:

“now u can put me in yo pocket, lol http://bit.ly/TheShaqApp“

Shaq did very little of this in the 2009-10 season.

Made for the iPhone, the application gives users the ability to chat with Shaq through their Facebook and/or Twitter accounts, as well as receive exclusive information shared by the Black Elephant.

If I bought the service from the Big Mongoose, I would want him to drop the following knowledge:

 -  How does it feels to know that you starred in one of the worst movies ever made?  I don’t know whose idea it was to try and stuff you into a bottle…

 -  If you’re running up and down the court for full basketball seasons and practices, how do you get from this size…to this size? 

 -  Did Kobe ever tell you how your a– tasted?

Otherwise – with the app priced at a mere $1.99, I still don’t think I’d get my money’s worth.

T Lamont is the owner, administrator and author of all content for Ball or Nuthin\'. Feel free to contact T Lamont with a question or comment at ballornuthin@gmail.com.  All created Ball or Nuthin' content is the sole property of T Lamont. Read more from this author