When I saw the “new Sammy Sosa”, I was confused…

The first thing that came to my mind was “White Chicks.”  You know, the movie starring the Wayans brothers dressed – and made-up – as two White girls.  I never saw the movie, but I remember the previews and trailers.  I think they stuck in my mind because Marlon and Shawn looked like weird, unnatural creatures.

Fast forward to 2009…and Sammy done lost his mind.  Check him out:

Sosa looks like Eddie Munster.

Wow.  What’s going on in Sammy’s head?

 1. “My wife looks really good, so I want to look just like her.”  Newsflash to Sammy: You still don’t look like her.

2. “You guys (the media) loved Mark McGwire so much that I figured I could be him.”  McGwire’s ship has sailed.  You guys actually make a great odd couple.

3. “It was the steroids, I mean, the over-the-counter supplement that I took back in my playing days.”  Well, let’s hope that their cumulative effect is incomplete.  Sosa’s new skin is very splotchy.

I’m certainly making light of Sosa’s decision.  He’s defended himself by saying that the lighter skin was caused by a combination of a new moisturizer that he is using and the lighting in the camera shots.  But moisture and pigmentation are two entirely different aspects of dermatology.

But deep in my heart, I really want to believe Sammy’s story.  After all, I’d like to think that we are past the days of feeling so uncomfortable in our skin that we’d have to drastically bleach it.

I hope that is one ship that has truly sailed.

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