Ball or Nuthin' » Just for Kicks

Ochocinco and Owens – Dynamic Duo?

T Lamont — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 18:39:24 +0000

Well, it’s official. Terrell Owens is going to Cincy, and, if nothing else, it will provide the NFL with one of the most eccentric receiving duos in history.

And one of the most decorated duos, as well. Owens and current Bengals’ pass catcher Chad Ochocinco have combined for 12 Pro Bowl and 8 All-Pro selections.

There’s no denying that the two are great football players, but the reality is that they’ll be remembered for much more than that. Owens and Ochocinco have each allowed their personalities to shine through, making them unforgettable figures in the world of sports. Each is a star of his own reality television series, both airing on VH1.

But if the history of the two guys remains true, one thing is for certain: there will be no lack of excitement in Cincinnati this year. And it would leave us all wondering if there will be enough spotlight for both of the media-hungry receivers.

Let’s take a playful look at the characteristics that make these guys who they are – - and who would fare better in each:

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Best Haircut

With Ocho and T.O. both rocking chrome domes, this is a close battle. But from time to time, small pricklies are visible on T.O.’s head – and if you look closely, there’s a pattern developing. Ocho’s bald look is relatively smooth and we’ve seen him pull out some of the wildest cuts on the football field – and on his head.

Winner: Ochocinco, by a hair

Best Heartbreaker

Palmer should be able to keep defenses honest with veteran receivers on both sides of the field.

Right now, these players are at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to the ladies. Owens recently exhibited a soft side on his show, making it obvious that his proclaimed feelings for his girlfriend are, in fact, real. He was pulling out stunts that were almost stalker-esque – like having boxes sent to his girl’s house just so that he would have a reason to go over.

While T.O. isn’t acting like the player that we all assume athletes to be, Ochocinco is certainly riding the high of his new reality show, “The Ultimate Catch.” On it, he’ll sort through 85 girls to get down to that ‘special’ one.

Winner: Ochocinco. He’s playing the role of heartbreaker, while Owens is playing the role of the heartbroken.

Best Sidekicks

On the T.O. Show, the Alabama native is rolling with his publicists, Monique Jackson and Kita Williams. Now, as flashy and flamboyant as Owens has been on the gridiron, he is equally as bland off the gridiron. That’s where Mo and Kita come in. The two divas basically make the show, sparking classic confrontational moments that would otherwise turn the T.O. Show into a “N.O. Show.”

Ochocinco’s buddy, Bernard Berrian is nicknamed “B Twice.” They might as well call him “B Thrice” – Bland Bernard Berrian. Boring Bernard Berrian. Or whatever “B” word you can think of that describes someone who doesn’t add anything to the show.

Winner: T.O. The most interesting episode of ”The Ultimate Catch” would probably be five times weaker than any episode of ”The T.O. Show” as long as Mo and Kita are around.

Best Publicity Stunts

As Owens has moved on in his career, he has put a lot of his attention-craving antics aside. Sure, in many ways he was the originator of selfish, over-the-top behavior – as evidenced by the Sharpie incident, the pom-pom dance and the Cowboys logo standoff. While this type of behavior drew the ire of fans, it also meant that they were paying attention to his antics.

One could say that the torch was unintentionally passed to Ochocinco. Chad has done quite a bit to stay on SportsCenter, but he has not limited his aspirations to the playing field. Ocho has one-upped T.O. by using technology to his advantage. The Oregon State product has used Twitter to connect with his fans (and his haters), constantly delivering cutting edge catch phrases just to give people a reason to follow him. Guess what? It worked. He danced with the stars, and he figured that we would take a peek to see if he was going to act a fool. Worked again. He caught our attention with his silly name change saga, and is now threatening to change it once more.

Winner: Ochocinco. The guy will go to any length to ensure that he remains one of the most searched NFL players out there.

Best Use of Television

Terrell Owens used his show to peek into his life, and witness parts of it that were not clear to us. The concept of the show was fairly original, citing Mo and Kita as his “guardian angels to block and guide him to the endzone.” The girls are in all of his business, and it doesn’t always work out well…which, by the way, makes for some good television. T.O. allows viewers to know that he is human, that he has feelings, and that he does genuinely care about everything that we think he doesn’t.

In Ochocinco’s premier television season, his program is run-of-the-mill for what you would expect on VH1. Ocho is indeed using the show to stay in the spotlight, but he’s not using it efficiently. As episodes come and go, he’s looking more and more like other past VH1 reality stars Ray J and – gasp – Flavor Flav.

Winner: T.O. I understand that this is Ocho’s first show, but he has to move past the status quo and make his television show as wild and unpredictable as he is.

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But regardless of the outcome of these categories, there will be a distinct set of winners from the establishment of this dynamic duo: NFL fans.

Just imagine a whole season of antics and soundbites that will eminate from the Bengals’ locker room.

NFL season, here we come!!

Dez Bryant Not Carrying Teammates’ Pads

T Lamont — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 19:25:05 +0000

After a season with quiet, humble wide receivers on the roster, the Dallas Cowboys were due for a little media attention.

It looks as if rookie Dez Bryant will fit nicely into the loud-mouthed tradition that had been established by his Cowboy predecessors such as Michael Irvin, Keyshawn Johnson and Terrell Owens. If nothing else, the Oklahoma State standout has clearly expressed that he has the confidence to be the next big thing in Texas.

America’s Team held training camp workouts this weekend. And on Sunday, the 24th selection in this year’s draft refused to carry his teammates’ pads into the locker room. Such a ritual is customarily the tradition across the NFL, but Bryant would not carry Roy Williams’ gear and had this to say about it:

“I’m not doing it. I feel like I was drafted to play football, not carry another player’s pads. I just feel like I’m here to play football. I’m here to try to help win a championship, not carry another man’s pads. I’m not saying that out of disrespect.”

What Bryant said makes sense to me – especially since he will be putting Williams on the sidelines sometime in the near future. And what did Williams have to say?

“No matter if you’re a No. 1 pick or the 7,000th pick, you’ve still got to do something when you’re a rookie. He’s kind of ornery right now. He doesn’t want to carry the pads and we should take them in the locker room. We might have to go to Step 2.”

“I’ve seen guys take people’s credit cards and go fill up their cards and wives’ cards. There’s a lot of dirt that goes on in the locker room.”

“Step 2″ would involve Williams becoming a cheerleader on the sidelines.

Does this conjure up any memories of a past Dallas receiver?

Williams’ production was pitiful considering he was the seventh overall pick in the (2004) draft. Last season, he caught 38 passes for 596 yards. Or to put it another way, he managed about two-and-a-half receptions and 40 yards a game.

That’s right – 40 yards – as in the distance that most wideouts can run in less than 4.5 seconds.

Now, don’t get me wrong – - I have respect for the veterans in any sport. But we’re talking about Roy Williams. And if you thought last season’s numbers were bad, consider the fact that he had the budding Miles Austin playing alongside him. Austin drew lots of attention, so it should have been that much easier for Williams to step up last season. Also, 2009 was his best season in three years with Dallas (how sad is that?). Over the span of his first two years with the team (totaling 15 games – the same total he played last season), he caught 36 balls for 430 yards. Imagine that…last year’s number were actually an improvement.

So, pardon Dez for not wanting to buddy-up with Williams. The circumstance here is that he is in a heated battle for a starting spot with the incumbent starter. It’s not Bryant’s fault that he is a rookie – and at worst, the second-best receiver on the team.

While the pad-carrying is tradition, it’s also a symbol that Bryant would need to put in his time to become more like Williams.

Well, if for no other reason, credit Bryant for that one thing. He is aware that such a thing would be an enormous tragedy.

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Dwyane Wade Takes One Last Shot at Cleveland

T Lamont — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 20:12:28 +0000

Here’s part two of Jimmy Kimmel’s interview with Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade.

Listen closely to Wade as Kimmel digs into the possible destinations for the new super trio…

After being shunned by LeBron, and ridiculed by Wade, what humiliation can be left for Cleveland?

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Funniest Take on LeBron’s Betrayal

T Lamont — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 19:38:28 +0000

The video rendition of LeBron’s departure to Miami – WWF style…

My favorite line…

“If it wasn’t for LeBron James, Dan Gilbert would still be selling meat in the back of a truck in Minneapolis…”

Classic…

Spelling Ability is Optional for NBA Tweets

T Lamont — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 18:37:47 +0000

Congratulations to UCLA alum Matt Barnes on his new decision to join the medical field!

Here’s the celebratory message that he left on Twitter via his Blackberry:

“Its official I AM A LOS ANGLES LAKER. I wanna thank u for all ur patients and understanding. This is a dream come true!!! Good lookn Kobe”

This is a great model for all athletes, letting them know that they can use their athletic gifts as a tool for – what? He’s not a doctor…and he’s joining the Lakers…to play basketball?…but he said “patients”…

Oh, he meant “patience”…OK, now I got it.

I guess Twitter should integrate a spelling and grammar check, along with a questionnaire prior to typing a message that will enable readers to understand what it is that the person is really trying to communicate.

Or, I guess I could just learn to have more patients with tweets from athletes.