Ball or Nuthin' » Just for Kicks

Daughter or Ball? Hmmm…

T Lamont — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 18:11:35 +0000

As a sport, baseball is a game that is second to none.

As a spectator sport, it is a game that is second to just about anything.

But unlike football or basketball, or any other major sport for that matter, it remains the only sport with the constant possibility of crowd participation. As a crowd member with good seats at a ball game, one is required to be at attention at all times. In a split second, the manner in which that insignificant foul ball is handled can garner the cheers – or jeers – of those in the stadium. One mistimed swing of a player’s bat can determine the difference between a fan comfortably enjoying the rest of the game – or pulling the brim of his hat a little closer to his chin.

All hail the power of the foul ball.

One of these defining moments occurred a few nights ago:

This has to be one of the funniest videos in major league baseball history…or something like that.

What happened dad?

He obviously looked like he was obliging to help the child catch a foul ball. Then, suddenly, he decided that he wanted to be an overprotective parent and realized she could get hurt if she doesn’t catch it properly.

Well, time is running short now. The ball is on its way. In a hunch, he thought, “I can catch this ball…if my daughter would just get out of my way. Let me sit her down.”

That’s probably what he was thinking. But the execution was poor. The girl clearly missed the seat. In fact, dad didn’t even look down. That oncoming foul ball became priority number one.

And now that he had improperly discarded his baggage, dad had ample time to square himself in front of the ball. He did just that. And missed the catch. So, he dropped his daughter to catch a ball which he also dropped.

Out of curiosity, I’d like to know who that was that was sitting on his opposite side? Another daughter? It seemingly couldn’t have been his wife, given the lack of reaction to what had just happened. It was almost as if she wasn’t shocked at all, as if to say, “Yep, that’s what he did to me a few years back…”

At any rate, I guess we should just be grateful that he didn’t have a baby in his hands.

Ochocinco’s “The Ultimate Catch”: Down To Final Two

T Lamont — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 03:04:21 +0000

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On the latest installment of “The Ultimate Catch”, Chad Ochocinco is tasked to eliminate two of the four remaining contestants.

And it seemed as if we were in for a treat…

He announced that his family was going to assist him in this process.

Upon hearing this, I figured that I had to see this episode by any means necessary. Given Ocho’s extra special persona, I expected to witness one or more of the following on this week’s show:

Rubi caught Ochocinco's interest form the start of the series.

- Someone with some gold fronts in their mouth

- A drunk uncle or cousin who dances uncontrollably and/or is confrontational

- A family member with hair dyed blonde

- Somebody who wanted to be seen on television at all costs, with no regard for the real premise of the show

But I was slight surprised – and mildly disappointed might I add – to see none of that on this episode. In fact, Chad’s family appeared to be just like my family – or anybody’s for that matter. And then, I connected the dot and made an important relevation…

Chad is the person that embodies all of those things in his family.

Back to the show, though. In the end, Chad’s family helped him decide to eliminate airhead Tara and the mysterious Tiphani…leaving obvious favorite Rubi (a clear Ocho choice from the start) and Brittany (who seems down to Earth).

IMO, Rubi’s had this competition won since the day Chad saw her. We’ll see what happens on the finale…

The NFL Needs Ochocinco’s Sample

T Lamont — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 13:24:41 +0000

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Ah…the things that the world of Twitter will allow one to share…

…and Ochocinco has decided to give us a sneak peak at how “random” random drug testing really is.

What was his response to the memo placed on his locker?

“Ok , why does the NFL continue to test me, all I do is piss excellence for them each time, I love these random steroid -drug test”

Chad seems to beam with confidence that he’s not worried, and that’s certainly a good thing. But note the contradicting nature of the letter: Chad has supposedly been selected to complete a urine doping test today. Then, at the end of the following paragraph comes this revealing tidbit – - “If you feel that you are not prepared to provide an adequate specimen you should still check in with the collector.”

OK, fellas…in what instances have any of us went 24 hours without being able to provide that type of “specimen?” And without question there is always an “adequate” amount for testing…right? If there have been times when players are unable to provide an adequate specimen, shouldn’t the NFL drug testing program’s Medical Advisor be concerned?

I’m kidding, but we all know what that sentence meant. Perhaps it should have read this way:

“If you feel that you are not prepared to provide a clean specimen you should still check in with the collector.”

Now that Ochocinco has revealed the loophole to the NFL’s drug testing system, it’s clear that there’s still a long ways to go with cleaning up professional sports. And it much, much longer than we may have even realized.

The Most Interesting Man in the World… of Sports

T Lamont — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 15:20:30 +0000

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Back in the 80′s, actor Jonathan Goldsmith made a living making appearances in some of the decades most watched shows. He guest starred in series like Knight Rider, CHiPs, Hawaii Five-O, McGyver, Magnum P.I., and The A-Team among others.

Nowadays, Goldsmith is better known as the most interesting man in the world:

While Goldsmith’s character seems to be something reserved for television and movies, there are some who are more likely to fit the moniker than others.

Let’s take a look at some of the athletes who fit the bill:

Tony Romo

The Cowboys quarterback seemingly came out of nowhere to become the leader of America’s Team in 2006. He went undrafted in the 2003 NFL Draft, but was signed as a free agent by Dallas almost immediately afterward. And now after four seasons of NFL quarterbacking under his belt, Romo is firmly entrenched as the guy expected to take Dallas to the next level. But if there’s one aspect of Romo’s life that has already ascended to another level, it’s his romantic life.

Romo has been linked to two pop music icons, Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwood. The 30-year-old San Diego native appears generally unfazed by any and all criticism hurled at him. He simply keeps motoring on with his football team and his legendary Popeater status.

You know you got game when they make your jersey in fitted sizes for females.

Derek Jeter

The longtime shortstop for New York is a four-time Gold Golve winner. But long before he won his the first of his Gold Gloves in 2004, it was clearly evident that he knew exactly what to do with his hands.

Mariah Carey, Adriama Lima, Jessica Alba, Vida Guerra, Jessica Biel – his list reads like a who’s who of women that every guy thinks is hot. As stacked as Jeter’s baseball credentials are, his dating resume blows them out of the water.

In addition to that, he’s as athletic as they come – the type of athlete that would seem to excel at any sport. Jeter has been a pitchman for Nike (Jumpman series), Gatorade and Visa (just to name a few). He started the Turn 2 Foundation, which is aimed at helping kids avoid drug and alcohol addiction. Jeter even has his own wax figure in a Museum in New York.

Can anyone top that?

Tony Parker

Parker has been the type of player that draws the ire of every man. He jetted into the league late in the first round of the 2001 NBA Draft, and walked into three championships as the starting point guard of the team. Parker is only 6’2″, but finds a way to remain at the top of the list in points in the paint. In 2007, he married the hottest television actress on the hottest television series (Eva Longoria from Desperate Housewives).

At each San Anotonio Spurs home game, he gives 20 tickets to underprivileged youth. Parker is the France ambassador for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. He has also released a hip-hop album.

Sports most interesting man? Makes you mad doesn’t it?

This would be a love triangle fit for someone who could be the most interesting man in sports.

Tom Brady

The New England Patriots QB is casually known as the husband of world famous supermodel Gisele Bundchen. Before that he was known as Bridget Moynahan’s boy toy. And prior to that, he had a thing for Tara Reid.

Need to hear more?

Brady was a sixth-round pick in the 2000 NFL Draft, who didn’t play in his first year. But when he became a starter the following year, all he did was become the youngest quarterback (at the time) to win a Super Bowl. It would be the first of three Super Bowl victories during a decade in which Brady was the best game general in the NFL.

Brady’s career has been highlighted by his calmness under pressure. He has that undescribable character of always being able to come through in the toughest situations.

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Jennifer Freeman Attacks NBA Hubby Earl Watson

T Lamont — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 18:58:49 +0000

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“Oh, oh here she comes. Watch out boy, she’s chew you up. Oh, oh here she comes. She’s a man-eater…”

That would have been the warning that Hall and Oates would have given Earl Watson.

The NBA journeyman guard has toured the NBA from city to city, in search of a place to call home. The 30-year-old has currently landed in Indiana, playing for the lowly Pacers as their primary starting guard last year. But this year, if he remains in Indiana, he’ll figure to take a back seat to the newly acquired Darren Collison.

But some odd news regarding his personal life has hit the mainstream. Watson is married to former “My Wife and Kids” actress Jennifer Freeman. According to Watson, their relationship turned hostile on August 1 – - that’s when the former actress attmepted to take a bite out of Watson’s chest.

The chest bite took place after Watson questioned Freeman about a text message that she had received on her phone.

But, as if her blood-sucking try wasn’t enough, Watson alleged that his wife also attempted to attack him with an iron.

That would definitely bring a different meaning to the term “domestic violence.”

After that incident, the 6’1″ Watson did what anyone with common sense would – he filed for divorce. But not much later, he and his wife have reconciled…vowing to continue to work on their marriage.

Hmmm…there seems to be two very concerning things here. There’s the suspicious text. Then there’s the resulting attack. Let’s examine these a little closer:

- I’m sure that this scenario has happened in most relationships. A suspicious text is spotted on the cell phone of one of the relationship’s participants. The usual reaction from the phone’s owner is something like this:

Watson and Freeman...before she tried to bash his head with an iron.

“I don’t know who that is.”

“It’s just someone playing games.”

“They must have entered the wrong number.”

- In any event, I would think that very few people would take the Chris Brown route. But apparently, that’s what Freeman did. Watson will probably throw out the family’s iron and get his clothes dry cleaned exclusively – just too avoid any possible future run-ins that his head might have with an iron.

- Freeman may have invented a new way to deal with suspicions of unfaithfulness – - just flip out on the accuser. The effect will be people across the globe who will be too frightened to confront skeptical behavior from their significant others. Or maybe even too scared to leave them for the fear of being stalked down one day.

The proof is in the pudding. Freeman’s antics have worked to perfection.

How else could you explain returning to a chest-biting, iron-wielding spouse?